Questions for the Master

I attended the "Ultimate Fishing Show" today (curiously, it won't be the last) in Novi, Michigan. Pro angler Kevin Vandam was there to share his insights and answer questions from the audience. I had no interest in hearing his presentation, but if I did go here are some questions I thought I'd ask:
(Think Carl from Caddyshack while reading these)

Kevin, I've killed a few men in my lifetime and sometimes used the corpses' fingers for bait. Do you see anything creepy about eating fish caught with those fingers?
Kevin, I've got a cat problem. So I caught five of them one day, put them in a bag, attached a couple of rocks to the bag and dumped the bag overboard when I went out on the lake fishing. I don't have a question, I'd just wanted to share.
Kevin, the wife and I are having some trouble in the bedroom. Do you have any tips to spice things up?
Kevin, I like to catch a lot of fish when I fish, so I like to dump a five gallon bucket of poison in the water and wait for those little buggers to surface. Do you recommend any particular icthyotoxin?
Kevin, is there a brand of dynamite you endorse over another?
Kevin, do you have any advice for talking your way out of overfishing to a CO?
Lastly, Kevin, what caliber rifle is best for taking out those pesky people on waverunners who come a bit to close to your boat when you're trying to fish. Thanks, Kevin. We sure do appreciate you taking the time to answer our questions.

Comments

ARC said…

HaHa.

January 16, 2011 at 8:05 PM

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I Am Not Hamlet

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