Skip to main content

Family Tourniquets

My mother died this past August.  If any of my extended family reads this they'll instantly accuse me of trying to score pity points for myself.

I'm not.

If you have no sympathy for me over the passing of my mother...so be it.  I'm not going to plead for it.  I'm just stating the fact, that she like Jacob Marley, is as dead as a doornail.

It happens to the best of us.

Anyway, in the course of my mother's rapid decline and passing, I was disowned by two members of my family.

Were we fighting over who gets Mom's treasures?  No.  Were we vicious because we each thought we deserved the lion's share of the inheritance?  Hardly.

No, my family went batshit crazy over the way I processed her death.
Courtesy of Creative Commons

That's it.  No revelations of family secrets.  No bickering over cash, cars, or mansions.

Nope.  It was because of my less-than-polished  bourgeois way of expression.

I was cursed (literally!) and disowned.  I guess I won't get the money I was owed from a sibling then.

We hear stories of families imploding when a matriarch or partiarch dies, but we never think that will happen in our family.  Heh.  I sure didn't.

It seems a cult was constructed around her, and if one wished to draw back the musty curtains to let in a bit of light, well, that was unforgivable.

The part that hurts the most is my children (Yes, K, you are not the only grandchild) weren't allowed an opportunity to say good-bye in a normal fashion.

So when I decided the decent thing to do was to put on a memorial service for my mother, so others--not just me--could pay respects that was attacked as well.

It seemed my mother requested no funerals or such.  OK, but was this a life-long desire or the wish of a woman who spent the last three-and-a-half months in a hospital and was suffering from depression?

I suspect the latter.

Memorials are for the living as a way to reflect upon the deceased.  That's all.  Why would the dead care?

Oh, by the way, cursing some one is a pretty good sign you don't know Jesus.  Your huffy protests notwithstanding.

Lastly, let it be known that I AM interested in bridge construction.  But a bridge has to be built from both sides.

Comments

Rachel said…
Scot, I'm so sorry that this has happened within your family. I will pray.

Popular posts from this blog

Worth Quoting

There are but three social arrangements which can replace Capitalism: Slavery, Socialism, and Property.                                                                                                 --Hilaire Belloc                                                   ...

Independent Women?

      During breakfast today I was reading an excerpt from a play in The New York Times Magazine (I know, I was a day behind and read Saturday's edition yesterday) entitled Rust .  The play, written by a professor at Grand Valley State University, here in Michigan, is a nonfiction drama about the closing of a GM plant in Wyoming, MI.  The play itself sounds interesting and I enjoyed the excerpt, but what caught my eye was something a character said.  The character is "Academic" and plays a historian and guide to the playwright, also a character.  He is explaining the rise of the automobile factories and the effect of the car on American culture.  He says, "Women became independent, they go from producers of food and clothing to consumers of food and clothing."  This was meant as an earnest, praiseworthy point.     I would counter with "How far we've fallen."  To say that a woman (or a man) is independent because she has m...

Mystery Meat indeed!

During my grocery shopping today I was asked to pick up some hot dogs for some meal or other. Now I am not an aficianado of the 'ot dog, but will usually have a corn dog or BBQed version of one or two during the summer. If my children like them, so be it. The trouble came when trying to find a package that didn't arrive from a chemistry lab. Nitrates and nitrites, sugars (including HFCS), the preservative sodium benzoate, and other fun substances littered every package I picked up. Even Hebrew National which "Answers to a Higher Standard" was doped. Apparently Kosher doesn't mean it can't be injected with a chemical cocktail. So-called "Natural Casings" were prominently displayed to catch my eye. As if sheep or pig intestine somehow offsets Agricorps tinkering. I ended up buying the brand "sold at Tiger Stadium" not because it was chemical-free, Hell no! It was merely the brand with the least additives. Why does a hot dog need su...