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An Open Letter

Dear Hasbro Packaging Engineer,
I appreciate the care with which you designed the protective casing for the "Biggest Little Pet Shop." I do wonder, however, if you are even human, for what human can open said packaging without fits of rage, mumbling Anglo-Saxonisms so his children won't hear, and regressing into a pre-rational state refusing to let anyone help him because he "won't let this damn packaging beat [him]?"
Is the displaying of the product your end goal, why then, excellent work, my friend. You have succeeded in creating packaging that lovingly (and at this point, permanently) shows off the toy. But if you would like children to actually enjoy PLAYING with the product then is it necessary to include so many quasi-invisible rubber bands, wires tightly wrapped into bug-sized balls, and plastic bands, tape, and enough cardboard to create a small shantytown? What is your goal, sir (or madam)? It cannot be to foster enjoyment on any level other than the demonic gloating you must feel as thousands of these pet shops roll out the factory to deposit themselves under Christmas trees of unsuspecting families. Shame on you! May every sheet of paper you ever touch create tiny lesions in your fingers.


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